Like many parents, I have been thinking about the impact this emotional election cycle is having on families. I wonder how we can make lemonade out of the many anxiety-filled lemons being tossed around in the media and the general atmosphere of this particular election.
Whatever your political beliefs, all Americans will have to find a way to live together after the election on Tuesday. The negative campaign ads, the level of unpleasant discourse and topics, and the fear many are feeling are affecting us adults as well as the children who depend on us. This is an important teaching moment for parents. One we can rise up to meet with some thoughtful resopnses.
For kids of any age it can be very confusing to see parents become unraveled or even mildly upset by something they are watching on television. Or children may simply notice an uptick in our own anxiety and discomfort and not know why. This particular kind of anxiety may not be something they see very often and it may create a sense of confusion and uncertainty for kids of all ages, but especially those who are younger.
For kids of any age it can be very confusing to see parents become unraveled or even mildly upset by something they are watching on television. Or children may simply notice an uptick in our own anxiety and discomfort and not know why. This particular kind of anxiety may not be something they see very often and it may create a sense of confusion and uncertainty for kids of all ages, but especially those who are younger.
Yet, this can be a golden opportunity for parents to reflect on the kinds of values they want to impart on their children. What is important to our family? How do we treat other people? What issues do we care about? How do we want to mitigate the impact of the wider world that is ever more intrusive upon our homes and families?
It is also a super teaching opportunity for our older children. What are elections? How does democracy work? What do you as a parent believe about our democracy? It is also a great time to observe if your child is impacted by the Presidential election, or if they are happily ignorant of it. Different kids have different awareness levels and temperaments and even some we might think are too young to notice or care, are picking up on things in their environment and interpreting them in ways that might surprise us.
Here are some suggestions to consider as we enter this exciting and emotional week:
5) Remember: Kids can't vote.
While this feels like a life and death election for many, remember: we will survive. We adults have the skills to respond thoughtfully rather than react. When we do, we are teaching this skill to or children. And when we do that, we are empowering them to make lemonade out of lemons!
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It is also a super teaching opportunity for our older children. What are elections? How does democracy work? What do you as a parent believe about our democracy? It is also a great time to observe if your child is impacted by the Presidential election, or if they are happily ignorant of it. Different kids have different awareness levels and temperaments and even some we might think are too young to notice or care, are picking up on things in their environment and interpreting them in ways that might surprise us.
Here are some suggestions to consider as we enter this exciting and emotional week:
1) Media/Internet/Personal Devices:
- Lower the stress and exposure for everyone in the family! Keep the broadband stations with commercials off when young kids are around as much as possible. Unfortunately, the content is too mature and too disturbing for young children to understand or tolerate. If older kids are up during election night, make sure they are not watching negative campaign ads alone (they may seem scary or threatening).
- If older kids are watching election news with you, turn the sound off during commercials. Notice if your child is reacting to the images they see on TV. Ask them about what they are seeing and hearing. For your own self-care, limit your exposure to media.
- Put yourself on a cyber diet of checking the news only once or twice a day and turning off notifications on your devices. Make a pact with a friend or partner not to get caught up in political arguments on Facebook. Scroll down to your happy place :)
2) Keep your cool.
- Take extra good care of yourself this week, If you start to notice anxiety increasing at home, take steps to have some fun, get out of the house and mitigate tension in the air with some fun music, dancing and being goofy. Enjoy your children and their innocence. Be in the moment. Hanging out with them can be a great stress relief for us adults! Reach out to like-minded friends.
3) Use the opportunity to teach.
- Kids need to know that what we see on TV needs to be considered carefully before being 100% believed. This is such an important conversation to have with kids of all ages as advertisements, television shows and even news, do not represent the life that we value, or even the one we actually have or want. Television is skewed toward a particular demographic of viewers and intended to attract and manipulate our attention. It does not represent a balanced view of the world. Help them learn to see though advertising culture early. Teach them to question what they see and hear!
4) Practice random acts of kindness.
- Connect your family with the wider world in a positive way. This Is a fabulous game for kids as you can hand out flowers to people in the grocery store, pay for street parking for another car, or simply say a friendly greeting as you are out and about with your kids. This is a great practice to restore faith in humanity and generate goodwill toward others. Kids are often more aware of doing this than we are :)
5) Remember: Kids can't vote.
- Some kids may feel powerless and frustrated by that. But we adults can vote and it is a right and privilege that they can look forward to and hopefully cherish one day.
While this feels like a life and death election for many, remember: we will survive. We adults have the skills to respond thoughtfully rather than react. When we do, we are teaching this skill to or children. And when we do that, we are empowering them to make lemonade out of lemons!
Elaine J. Webster M.A., LMHC
Individual and Couple Therapy
