What is hard about parenting? Almost everything! Constant growth and change challenging us to be better, work harder, be more self-aware. At least these are things that are hard for me. My parents were raised during the depression and they learned how to parent from their immigrant parents where having a childhood was a luxury. So I learned lots of authoritarian strategies that I swore I would never use on my own child.
Just like balancing a checkbook, the life skills for being a parent just were not taught when I grew up. So everyday is a challenge for me to feel like I am doing it right.
The truth is there is no "right"...there is better and there is worse. And there is lots and lots of advice from many perspectives and values. If you are like me and find it hard to believe in a single strategy or approach, it can be overwhelming and frustrating.
So who do I believe when it comes to parenting advice? I believe those parents who have strong and loving and respectful relationships with their own children. We may not be alike in other ways, but I can sure learn from them by watching how they interact together and the kinds of things they do. I learn from parents who are able to keep their cool in challenging situations and who admit it when they blow it. I learn from parents who know how to repair misunderstandings and arguments with their kids with honesty and integrity. I learn a lot from parents who are like me and from parents who are very different from me. And I love that I can and do still learn from others, both kids and adults.
What is hard for you and who do you learn from?
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